Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Control And Illusions

“In the days of their life, men command as if (they were) God. But at the time of their end they all die like beasts. Yesterday they were proud kings exalted with power. Today, they are dead, fallen, cast down and wretched” She’himo, Saturday Vespers.

“Do not place me, my brothers, in a decorated grave, for I am a grave which is full of sins and offenses. Bury me among strangers where the poor are laid to rest that when the Son of God comes He May call and raise me up and have mercy on me” She’himo, Saturday 9th hour

Those of us who come from fairly well-to-do backgrounds and are citizens of a very rich and powerful country can get it into our heads that we will live this life forever in uninterrupted ease, with our reality complying to the last demand. Lives of relative ease and routine can lull us into living inauthentically, away from or even in spite of our true selves, convinced that this is “as good as it gets”. Remembering our vulnerability, our regrets and our mortality can throw our real priorities into sharp relief, not only to ourselves but to others, too. It is in these not-so-comfortable parts of our lives that God can speak the loudest, up and over any excuses or justifications we’ve concocted. Ask now before it’s too late: “what is my life for?” “Where have I fooled myself into thinking I ‘run the show’?”




Wednesday, August 10, 2022

My Personal Frustrations

 

"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret -it leads only to evil."

~Psalms 37:8

I would like to share about some struggles I have faced in Honduras as I adapt to the culture and environment. Anytime one ventures outside their home country/community there will be moments when one is faced with something perceived as very different. I want to express some of my experiences and struggles. These are my personal struggles, limited to my perspective. There is a lot more to add than what I have written, so this is rather short.

Sudden Changes

While I am loving Honduras and feel very safe where we are, there are a few things that have been challenges for me. I am comfortably used to relying on set schedules for academic school years. All throughout my life in the U.S. a school schedule was all planned out during the summer months and rarely changed unless some huge unexpected event occurred that interrupted the flow of that schedule, such as a global pandemic or a school shooting. Here in Honduras, what I would consider big plans, can change at the last minute. Everything from the first day of school to when the week-long summer break happens have been changed from one day to the other. As someone used to U.S. timing and culture, this can be frustrating. But I have noticed nobody is bothered by these sudden changes. Everything just happens as it happens. No biggie.

Different Takes on Confidentiality

Lack of confidentiality, from the perspective of a U.S. citizen, is a big thing here in Honduras. At least in the schools and doctor’s offices. While it does not personally bother me much, it is still shocking since I come from a culture where if you break confidentiality, it can cost you your job. But let’s say you’re at the doctor’s office, and a nurse comes in to ask the doctor about another patient. The doctor and nurse will have a short conversation about what to do and/or say to the patient. You are sitting there and hearing everything they say, but it’s not a big deal here. In the U.S. that could go as far as a lawsuit. Another example would be dealing with students. Certain information that would not be discussed with anybody but the student and/or the students’ family, is not as concealed as it would be in a U.S. public school. While information is not just handed out to just anyone, conversations between an administrator and student can happen in front of other students, when in the U.S. it most likely would be dealt with in private.

Drunk Walkers

Running into someone lying unconscious on the sidewalk with no assistance is a very disturbing site for me. It is not uncommon here in Juticalpa for someone who is intoxicated to pass out on a sidewalk. No one does anything for them except briefly check to make sure they are breathing and then quickly move on. People don’t want to get involved. When I shared with someone that in the U.S. 9-1-1 would be contacted, and emergency services would be dispatched within minutes, they responded “emergency services take hours if not days to arrive.” So far what I have observed is there are not so many drunk drivers as there are drunk walkers.

Animal Negligence

Since I deem myself an animal lover, watching stray dogs is very difficult for me. I have seen dogs in terrible condition without any hope of receiving help. It breaks my heart to see them suffering, and wish I could save them all. But resources are limited, although available to some degree. There are veterinarian clinics. Unlike some communities around the world, people here do have dogs, cats and birds as pets. There is just not as much animal control as there is in the U.S. As I write this blog, there are three turtles in a dried up fountain in a park. Someone put them there for the children to enjoy, however, several people have told me that those turtles are going to die there. One woman who runs a small shop sat cross-armed, “They don’t have water, except for the rain water.” She shook her head in disapproval, “They’re just going to die there.” Animal rights and safety measures are little to non-existent. While I view in horror as so many animals in shelters get put down (in the U.S.), I actually see the need for animal control to step in and help control the stray dog population.

Flies & Mosquitoes

The flies and mosquitos are insane, although it is nothing new for me since we lived in an agricultural area back in Washington. Especially in the summer months, flies were nuts. Here is about the same except the mosquitos are also numerous and they carry more tropical diseases such as Dengue fever (which Jacob, my husband, got). According to Jacob, Dengue fever is no fun! Flies and mosquitos give me respect and appreciation for spiders which I am deathly afraid of. Spiders are one of my least favorite animals in the world, except for flies and mosquitos. But lately, I have grown to have a fascination toward them, even though they still scare me.

While I love Honduras and the people here, because I am in a culture outside my own, there will be difficult moments. This happens to everyone who travels and lives abroad. These difficult moments, often known as culture shock, can produce feelings and emotions ranging from anxiety to anger, and at times even hatred. I personally have not experienced hatred, except maybe toward flies and mosquitos, but I have felt frustration.

-Nancy

Friday, July 29, 2022

A Thousand Words - All of Them Wrong

On most houses and businesses in Honduras (and other countries in Latin America), broken bottles are embedded in the tops of concrete walls, bars are over windows, and most doors (interior or exterior) can only be opened from the outside via key. For someone not from here, that can be intimidating, giving the impression that hostile people lurk around every corner. 

They don’t.

Protecting one’s home in these places (where personal firearm ownership is rarer) simply looks different, and relies more on the very understandable dislike of “putting in more effort than it’s worth” than the threat of lethal force. To some, this looks like a prison. To me, it looks like I won’t need a gun.



Monday, July 25, 2022

Power Outages

“The heavens declare the glory of God; The firmament shows the creation of his hands.”

~Psalm 19:1

It is no exaggeration when they say power outages are very common in Honduras. One minute you have power, the next, it’s gone. There is a particular sound that is heard as everything turns off and silence takes over. You don’t realize how much noise there is until the fans, the lights, everything else run by electricity stops working. Some outages last for a few minutes, and others last the entire day or night. The ones that last the entire day are the hardest of all. Thankfully, there are not many of those. Most of the time they are inconvenient, especially if you had plans to cook and your range is electric. With us having two toddlers it can get even more tricky as they don’t understand why they cannot watch “Pocoyo” (one of their favorite shows) on any of the laptops. With no cooking able to get done (unless the power goes out after you finish cooking) and no shows to put on for the kids, it seems like it would spell disaster!

Or does it? It turns out these power outages are not always that bad. My favorite time for us to have a power outage is at night. Usually, dinner is cooked so if anyone wants to eat, we can. But the better part of having a power outage is it brings us closer as a family. Our eyes are off any and all screens, Santi and Soli love playing with the flashlight pretending to be monsters or ghosts. Since there is no light either outside or inside, the stars are amazing. We can sit in the back part of the house where there is no roof and star gaze. As I glance up at the beautiful star filled sky, I am taken back to summer camp where I discovered how amazing star gazing is outside of the city. It dawns on me that these power outages are a gift from God.

God is interrupting our plans for us to see what He wants us to see: Our children playing and enjoying themselves without technological devices, my husband having fun with the flashlight as he makes goofy (spooky) faces for the children, and myself rediscovering how much I love the stars because of the connection I feel with God when I look at them. I can’t help but think, is it really so terrible to be without power? Perhaps what we deem as inconveniences are God’s blessings upon us.

I want to share a journal entry I made the first time the power went out in the evening and lasted into the night:

Last night our electricity was out for quite some time. What started out as an inconvenience was actually God’s blessing - a gift. For the first time in a very long time, I got to stare at a starry night. The stars were gorgeous, and I went back to a time when I was a teenager in Christian camp. Every night we would go out, sit and watch the stars. We would sing songs of praise and worship, and I never felt so close to God than when I looked into the night sky filled with stars. I felt so close to Him as I would stare at the beauty of it all. I had forgotten how marvelous God’s works are and how you can find God when you stop to marvel at His creation. I was reminded last night of how much I love the stars. Gazing at them reveals to me how small we are with all our problems, and how immense the universe is. God fashioned all of it! He knows every star, moon, and planet. Only He knows the vastness of the universe.

-Nancy

Thursday, July 21, 2022

Spraznyka! Happy Feast!

Today I went to hold my prison group when my plans got all turned over.  Today is the feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, and thus, Fr. Juan Pablo and his parish brought a veritable feast to the prison alongside mass! 

There was a blowback to this: this meant that it wasn’t a day for visitors and therefore I couldn’t have group.

When has the “great feast” from God overturned our plans?

 





Thursday, July 14, 2022

Receive the Kingdom Like a Little Child

A couple months ago, I began a psychoeducational group for orphan boys at a place called the Hogar de NiƱos. After screening the boys, I searched for a good curriculum that would teach them techniques to challenge negative thoughts, relax, practice good sleep hygiene, etc. 

What does it mean to receive the kingdom like a child? In particular, children who are orphaned or abandoned? Maybe it’s to recognize our need for recognition, to be vulnerable enough to reach. 




Wednesday, July 13, 2022

Manna From Online

 

I had worried about the reliability of my evaluation results until recently.  When I asked the creator of the Cognitive Processing Inventory about the cost of packages, he let me have access to the software and protocols for free for my time here!! You can’t always get what you want, but the way provides!!

-Jacob


Declaration of Dependence

I am not self-sufficient, it is not all under my control…and what a relief that is!! What an invitation to trust the all-holy Father, “God f...